\ Finding Valhalland //

## I have to post this for myself. Otherwise I’ll quick enough to forget things I ever regret. Aida, you wrote this in the middle of uncertainty of yer life. Dya remember? Good for ya if you remember!##

Salvation in me[1]

“Truth is one; sages call it by various names”

(Rig-Veda)

John Hick brought me to think about the depth of this term: SALVATION. I have one book here, a translation from Murthadha Muthahari’s book “Islam and Religious Pluralism”,[2] published by Pustaka IIMaN. This book explained about Islamic view in Salvation, while in his books Hick also explained about Christianity view on this term. So, many scholars thought about it.

Hick asked many questions which also questioned by me. What is religion? Is my religion superior to yours? Will they have salvation? But somehow I got my conclusion (though perhaps it’s not a final one): Salvation is for those who have faith to Allah, the judgment day, and good deeds.[3] These diversity and plurality enrich the world of wisdom. This diversity is reality. And pluralism doesn’t mean all religion is the same or all (religion) become one. Diversity exist to make human being knows how to contribute to the living life, to compete doing good deeds.[4]

If I’m not mistaken, I remember Muthahari’s writing about Descartes that he is not infidel because he never deny truth, while infidel always denying truth. Muthahari suggested that we should not call them an infidel if we don’t want to mention them as a Muslim. This is a never-ending debate. And in my concern, I like to leave it to God. He knows what He will going to do. And what we should do now are: possess dialog to brighten the future and act to grab the upcoming life. Dialog without action is hocus-pocus alias pack of lies. What I mean by action is: giving freedom to people to adhere religion.

Yesterday in Pak Machasin’s class we have a special guest from Solo. He is Khonghucu, and he’s name is Pak Indarto. He told us about his past when he should hide his identity as the adherent of Khonghucu. He pretended as a Muslim, and the worst is the State knew and suggested them to do so. There is no freedom at all. We should act soon as possible if there is a group of religion’s adherent who harassed others and pursue to hide their identity. But again, to hide an identity is also a Freedom. It is okay to someone who wants to hide their (religion) identity. However, to show that we are adhering to something is our free will.

Last but not least, as a very weak and vulnerable human being, I hope for the salvation in me.

November 21st, 2006

[1] The title was inspired by The Cranberry’s song lyric.

[2] The translation was published by Pustaka IIMAN under title: “Mestikah BUNDA TERESA Masuk Neraka?” (2006)

[3] Al-Quran (Al-Baqarah:62)

[4] Al-Quran (Al-Maidah: 48)

I don’t quite remember my dream. I have a very short one. My boy friend came to me when I was very upset of something. I was in a restaurant, sitting alone and waiting for someone (not him), and he was surprised me and asked for my attention. He called me, "I’m here …. I’m here". And I replied, "What are you doing here?"

And the dream ended.

It was …. in November 25th, 2006

And then ….

I write these in between.

"I believe in God and Here After"

Kuceritakan apa adanya. Untuk dikenang dan jadi reminder diriku sendiri jika aku lupa lagi.

Orang yang munafik akan mengatakan: bahwa aku percaya dengan Tuhan dan Hari Akhir, tapi ia akan tetap berbuat dosa tanpa rasa ingin taubat. Ini adalah fenomena keberagamaan orang beragama. Kemudian aku tanya, ‘bagaimana dengan taubat’? Kemudian mereka menjawab bahwa istighfar dan bersungguh-sungguh akan menghapusnya. Kadang ada rasa takut beristighfar ketika ingat apa yang dikata Imam Ali bin Abi Thalib: istighfar ada pada tingkatan yang sangat tinggi. Tapi tidak bisa dibendung keinginan hati untuk mengatakannya. Harus dikatakan kalau tidak, maka diri tidak akan berubah dan begini-begini saja berlumur rasa bersalah insan hina.

Pagi tadi ku minta doa dari mama sewaktu ku mau minum air putih. Jauh sebelum Masaru Emoto mengatakan bahwa molekul air itu hidup dan merespon energi kesadaran manusia, aku sudah jauh-jauh pahami ini lewat gelagat para habib-habib dan shaman yang menggunakan media air untuk healing. "Ma, doakan aku yang baik-baik." Dan mama pun langsung berdoa. Indaaaahhh sekali. She’s so beautiful, suatu hari aku akan sepertinya. Cantik dan berdoa.

Mungkin mama mendoakan agar aku selalu beristighfar dan taubatku lancar. Spiritropika? Ya. Wait. Kalau tidak salah itu istilah yang dikenalkan Khalid Khavari. Spiritropika. Ya.

Intinya, aku ingin berubah. Bukan kembali seperti dulu sebelum aku berlumuran dosa. Tapi lebih baik dari yang dulu. Aku ingin berubah. Rasanya sakit seperti ini terus-terusan. Mungkin orang akan bilang, "berubah ya udah berubah aja. Buat apa pake repot-repot."  Biar saja. Aku ingin berubah dan menjadikan tulisan ini pengingatku. Seperti halnya tulisan-tulisanku yang dulu, yang membuatku ingin berubah dan malu dengan hal-hal bodoh yang sudah banyak kulakukan.

Bagaimana bisa aku menyalurkan ma’rifat kehidupan jika ketika aku ingin mencicipinya saja selalu terganjal kebodohan-kebodohan yang kulakukan? Blah! Tidak mungkin.

Teringat dengan kitab Daxue-nya orang Khong Hu Cu:

Orang zaman dulu yang hendak menyebarkan kebajikan yang mulia kepada semua umat dunia, ia terlebih dahulu berusaha mengatur negerinya; dan untuk mengatur negerinya, ia lebih dulu mengatur rumah tangganya; untuk mengatur rumah tangganya, ia terlebih dahulu membina dirinya. Dan untuk membina dirinya, ia terlebih dahulu meluruskan hatinya, dan untuk meluruskan hatinya, ia lebih dulu bertekad menegakkan iman dan ketulusan; untuk menegakkan iman dan ketulusan, ia lebih dulu mendalamkan pengetahuannya, dan untuk mendalamkan pengetahuannya, ia terlebih dahulu meneliti hakekat tiap perkara.

Kenapa hidup ini terasa sumpek?

Karena aku tidak mau mengubah diriku.

Ini perkara inti.

Sepertinya sangat mirip dengan Abu Yazid Al-Bhistami:

Ketika aku masih muda dan bebas berkhayal,

Aku bermimpi ingin mengubah dunia,

Seiring bertambahnya usia dan kearifan,

Kudapati dunia tak kunjung berubah,

Maka, cita-cita ku pun persempit,

Kuputuskan hanya untuk mengubah negeriku,

Namun, tampaknya hasrat itu pun tiada hasilnya,

Kala usiaku senja,

Dengan semangat yang masih tersisa,

Kuputuskan untuk mengubah keluargaku,

Tapi, celakanya, mereka pun tak mau berubah,

Dan kini sementara aku berbaring saat ajal menjelang,

Tiba-tiba kusadari:

"Andaikan yang pertama-tama kuubah adalah diriku, maka dengan menjadikan diriku panutan, mungkin aku bisa mengubah keluargaku, lalu berkat inspirasi dan dorongan mereka, bisa jadi aku pun mampu memperbaiki negeriku, dan kemudian siapa tahu aku pun bisa mengubah dunia.

Aku tidak ingat persis apa yang dikatakan Al-Bhistami. Tapi kira-kira seperti itu.

Allahuma Solli Ala Muhammad wa ali Muhammad. Ya Allah, aku memohon ampunan-Mu atas setiap dosa yang kupuji dengan lisanku, kusembunyikan di hatiku, disenangi oleh jiwaku, diakui oleh lisanku, diwujudkan oleh perbuatanku, digemari oleh ragaku, kutulis dengan tanganku, dikerjakan olehku, atau kujerumuskan padanya hamba-Mu. Ya Allah, maafkan aku yang terlena nafsu indah dan melupakan janji Kita. Curahkan shalawat serta salam dan keberkahan pada kanjeng Nabi Muhammad Rasul Allah beserta keluarganya. Berikanlah ampunan untukku, Wahai Sebaik-baik Pemberi Ampunan dan Yang Maha Tidak Tergesa-gesa.

November 12 - 27th, 2006

## barusan seorang teman SMS, bahwa ustadzah Nurjani (guru mengajiku waktu SD) meninggal dunia. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un. ##

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NEW SCRIPTURE, NEW DOCTRINE, NEW RELIGION

I was more a passive student in the class yesterday. It was Philosophy of Religion’s class, and was talking about ‘Scriptures’. I only listened to my friend’s arguments and their explanations about canon and scriptures. While, several days before I surfed the net online just to get to know the meaning of Scripture.

Scripture are:
1. Biblical writing
2. Biblical Text
3. Sacred Writing
4. Authoritative Statement

Before Max Müller translated the ‘sacred text’ in his book, The Sacred Book of the East (in 1879), the word ‘sacred text’ and ‘holy book’ were used only for the Hebrew and Christian Bible. Now, as the modern historian said, that the concept of ‘sacred text’ can be use in all community and society which have faith in believing texts as a sacred things.

I have a writing community over the net. We met both offline and online. We don’t have name for the community, but we have members. Most of us stayed in Jakarta, Yogyakarta, and several others in Bandung and Solo. We wrote many things, everything, and anything. And when one of us finished one book (though we haven’t yet giving it to publishers), we called it, Holy Book, and each sentences in the book are Verses.
In 14th century, scriptura means ‘what is written’. In Hebrew and Arabic, we know it as kitab, and then bible (Ancient Egypt), and also book in English. Yes, I have written that kind of ‘sacred book’. The sentences I created were a sacred writing and have authoritative statement. The writing process was not like when I want to write to a local magazine which editor will tell us what we should write. But, I was waiting for the signs to write. The signs were from God – I believe it that way. And I dare to name my writings as a part of scriptures.
I like Smith idea which stated, “Everything that exists on earth, however, has come into existence historically.”  Canonical writings are something that people idolized and lived by because of its existence is a God-Work. Holy Book – whatever is that, will only have a meaning when there are communities which consider and have faith that its writings are a God Words.
Sacred Text like this cannot stand alone without tradition and its community. But I cannot imagine if all mankind in this earth writing something, and those people has authority, then they will create religions. What most frightening me is that new scripture means new authority, new doctrine, and new religion! Now, can you imagine what will you do if there were communities which consider my writings as a ‘sacred text’ which they believe as a God Words?

November 16th, 2006