Lagi pengin posting lirik lagunya MIKA
This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it’s forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.
Eh ya visit my aidavyasa.multiply.com to touch me …
aidavyasa.multiply.com
Semua adalah firman dariNya. Semua ….
Kemarin ku bilang ke Initial V kalau betapa beruntungnya dirinya yang punya banyak teman. Kubilang juga kalau aku ternyata cuma punya sedikit teman. Trus dia bilang, ‘mau punya banyak teman?’ Trus kujawab, ‘engga’ Sebenernya aku mau. Cuma kalau kubilang ‘mau’ nanti Initial V akan jawab dengan gaya ‘fun-loving’nya yang bikin aku senyum-senyum lagi …
Dan tadi ni, Initial V bilang kalau sore ia buka puasa bersama temen-temen KKNnya. Ku ngiri lagi. Hihiks … ngga satu temen pun yang ngajak ku buka puasa sama-sama. Ya engga papa sih. Cuma kasihan Aida 
hihi … kalau aku sieh … ah dah biasa … (ha? Ho? Hehehe!)
Ngga lama setelah kunampakkan sifat rasa tak bersyukurku, temen kuliahku dulu – Umi, namanya, dia telp dan nanyain kabarku. Trus kubilang kalau, ‘yuk buka bersama ma temen-temen angkatan 98.’ Dan dia mau … sekarang kita tinggal set waktu dan kyaaaaa … ternyata ku punya temen. Bayangin, ku engga kontak ma Umi sudah 4 tahun. Ih … empat tahun dan hari ini, tanggal 15 September 2007 (Ramadhan hari ketiga), dia nelp … nanya kabarku dan akhirnya buka bersama bareng nantinya. Insha allah …
‘Tuh khan!!! Kamu tuh punya temen! Cuma perasaanmu aja, Ai!’
Maha Agung Allah dengan segala firmanNya …
Marriage: Option or Obligation?
“And they lived happily ever after …” it’s only a fairytale. I found this statement, made by a friend of mine. And it makes me to think to write about what women should and should not do about marriage. In one afternoon, my friend (25 years old single women and still study psychology in S-1) and I (27 years old single women) talked about the fearful things faced by women and children when marriage become a broken bridge to happiness. She mentioned many examples to describe how marriage ruined women’s and children’s life and only create more broken family in this planet. I agree with her that marriage do sometime made matters worse than before, but I disagree when she said that marriage cut off the freedom of woman. It is true that many examples of woman whom had been cut off their freedom by marriage – by their husband. But there are two kind of woman related with marriage: woman who considerer marriage as obligation or option.
Being single is fun for fearless female. But avoiding marriage for them is a dangerous choice. Both religion and social culture had involved deeply in women’s marriage life and choices. For several women, marriage is a matter of an option rather than an obligation. When women choose not to marry, (suddenly) society had its right to judge that the women had neglected their destiny. Being virgin is such ashamed thing to do – and merely a sin. Deep inside every woman’s heart laid their need to be loved and to gain freedom at the same time. And marriage had often not become the solution for these, but it always consider as it by society. Does ‘marriage’ is an obligation or an option for women? Who decide that ‘married women’ is better than ‘single women whom delay their marriage’ or women who did not (choose not) to marry?[1]
When Aida Vyasa posted her writing above in the internet – in her Blog, few man replied her writing and gave comments that man also need to be loved and to gain freedom at the same time. So the problem of freedom, to be loved and dignity over gender is not a woman’s problem but also man’s problem as women’s rival in this context – rather than partner.
Last night (May 19th, 2007) I saw a monologue by Naomi Srikandi in LIP
Yogyakarta . The story was about Shakuntala – a novel character of Ayu Utami’s Novel, Saman and Larung. It was a story about women who belief that marriage is a bitchy hypocrite (in Bahasa: persundalan hipokrit). In her novel, Ayu Utami describeb Shakuntala as women who had trauma about men who treat her so bad, about family who teach her that marriage is solution of all problems, and how important virginity is. Shakuntala is a merely complete description about the feminist in common.
“Namaku Shakuntala. Ayahku menyebutku sundal. Sebab aku telah tidur dengan beberapa laki-laki dan beberapa perempuan. Meski tidak menarik bayaran. Ayahku tidak menghormatiku. Aku tidak menghormati ayahku, sebab bagiku hidup adalah menari dan menari pertama-tama adalah tubuh. Seperti Tuhan baru meniupkan nafas pada hari keempat puluh setelah sel telur dan sperma menjadi gumpalan dalam rahim, maka ruh berhutang kepada tubuh.”[2]
Here, we can see women as people construction. As the famous Simone de Beauvoir quoted, “One is not born rather becoming, a woman.”, so at the same time, women is a society construction and a becoming process which has no final point. My paper will discuss about ethical problem which woman faced about marriage and its relation with what it means to be a good women, a good daughter, and a good sister.
A Good Woman: a Doll in the house?
A good women is a good sister, a good daughter, and later on, a good mother. A good mother could only achieved if you’re a good daughter and a good sister who will had her marriage when the age has ripe enough to gave birth – and be a good mother. So, if you want society calls you as a good women, you should get married when the right time has come. But often the time has never come, and sudden you become a bad woman. Or perhaps the time has come, but you choose another way to be a good person.
I remember about a movie, entitled, Yentl. The movie was talked about a Jewish women whom eager to had education in the University but unfortunately the university only receive man as it student. So, Yentl – the women, pretended and disguised herself as a man. The story goes deeper as Yently in love with her bestfriend – her roommate in boarding house, and it almost change her idea that women should not gain happiness with togetherness with man. As the end of the movie, Yentl conduct journey to her future – no longer disguise herself as a man and get a better study in other place, and marriage certainly not her final goal. From the movie I can get conclusion, that women in the whole world is the same. They seek love, compassion, freedom, they want to be heard, they cry, but at the same time they can be cruel and harsh and just like men did they angry and be rational on things, and it doesn’t seem surprise why we should look over the difference of man by gender rather than sex.
Yentl is a type of women who is not a doll in the house. She eager to find and react as man rather passive like most women did. As the British Feminist, Janet Radcliffe Richards, says:
“Most women still dream about beauty, dress, weddings, dashing lovers, domesticity, and babies … but if feminists seem (as they do) to want to eliminate nearly of all these things – beauty, sex conventions, families and all – for most people that simply means the removal of everything in life which is worth living for.”[3]
Social construction: A good woman is a married woman. Is that true?
Children know that witches had no husband and children, and they are bad women. But it was so cruel if we consider unmarried women as a witch. Beauvoir criticizes the family as an unacceptable arrangement since, for women, marriage, and childbearing are essentially incompatible with their subjectivity and freedom. Moreover she says:
“The tragedy of marriage is not that it fails to assure woman the promised happiness … but that it mutilates her; it dooms her to repetition and routine … At twenty or thereabouts mistress of a home, bound permanently to a man, a child in her arms, she stands with her life virtually finished forever.”[4]
It seems for Beauvoir, the tragedy goes deeper than marriage. Moreover, we can find many writings about how marriage consider as death by women. For example, writings from Aida Vyasa in her novel,
Taman Sunyi Sekala:
“Sesuatu yang kubawa dalam saku kehidupanku adalah gambaran nyata sebuah kematian dalam hidup; bahwa wanita akan menjalani siklus kematian selama tiga kali dalam hidupnya. Satu: saat ia terlahir sebagai perempuan; dua: saat ia mengalami menstruasi pertama; tiga: saat ia menikah.”[5]
Under traditional arrangements, most women did not merely want marriage; they needed it. It was by far a woman’s most socially legitimated option for economic survival. In her introduction in her book, The Second Sex, Beauvoir stated that women nowadays is now trying to grasp again their freedom, but no matter they step into life, they will ended it up in a marriage – confessing man’s domination. Furthermore, Beauvoir says that marriage is a traditional which society gifted for women. It’s true that many women married, ever married, plan to have married and suffer because of never to have married. Single women always see as rebel and frustration women.
Rosemary Putnam Tong stated that according to Beauvoir, when young women realize her body, realize her difference with boys, they started to realize their duty in motherhood in relation with marriage, reproduction, pregnancy, gave birth, breastmilk, and nurturing. Beauvoir believe that marriage can destroy love which lied between man and women. Marriage is a slavery and full of routine. Marriage offers calmness and security, but it also robbed it.
In marriage, women become wife and perhaps also a mother. Both of these roles, according to Beauvoir are limiting the women’s movement. But some women did find freedom in it. For example, this morning, my old friend send me message:
“Kapan undangan pernikahannya datang? Dah sembilan tahun kalian jalan kenapa tidak nikah-nikah? Khan sudah tunangan? Emang belum pingin direpoti anak ya? Asyik loh pagi-pagi ada yang hadir dengan tawa dan senyum minta dipeluk. Lucu …”[6]
Not all of women feel that marriage cut off their freedom, but sometime they find it within marriage. Or perhaps they did not find freedom in it, but they enjoy it after all. Furthermore, we can find in other women’s writing about how marriage can be a little death. Here for example:
“Saat ia menikah, adalah saat wanita mati ketiga kalinya sebelum ia mungkin merasakan kehidupan … mati adalah ketidakberfungsian diri, ataukah saat orgasme, saat melahirkan, saat menyusui, saat mengasuh anak, melihat anaknya tumbuh dewasa … bahwa pernikahan bisa jadi kematian dan kehidupan, itu tergantung dari mana kita melihat.”[7]
Feminist with her feminity
It is very interesting to viewed Beauvoir or even Aida Vyasa’s writing through the work of Foucault. In his History of Sexuality: An Introduction, Foucault presents sex as a form of discourse. He also asserts that sex pervades all aspects of a person’s life. Because sex in his opinion is discourse, the connection between writing and sex becomes concrete.
It is this capacity for sex to color all aspects of a person’s life, as well as the intimate relationship shared by sex and writings, that makes gender influences inescapable in a person’s written work. Gender, in a sense, creates a sort of community of people and therefore it is “a vital element of identity that a writer, reader, or critic must at the very least acknowledge.” Self-knowledge is what most feminists believe has been denied women for centuries, through labels such as wife and mother. These deny female sexual appetite and force women into subservient, nurturing roles that deny them personalities.
Another exotic female writer is Anaïs Nin, which became an inspiration to all women desiring to be accepted in a male dominated society because, although she was censored, society did not make her an outcast. Nin was married, experienced in matters of sexual intercourse (as her diaries attest), and never lost her femininity after she realized that she had denied it and regained possession of it. She is now often viewed as feminist with femininity. It is very interesting because Aida Vyasa also mention about how Anais Nin inspired her much and obviously we can see from couple word of Vyasa that Nin has influenced her femininity also.[8]
In her novel, Aida Vyasa wrote about how women ‘died’ when they have first menstruation. Here we can see how religion and culture put women in the position of dirty things when they had menstruation.
“As in much of Western religious thought, Hinduism contains the idea that female body becomes polluted during menstruation and childbirth.”[9]
Moreover, Raine sees this as a politics of control. Especially in Hinduism, “Men use their power to write religious text to inscribe the bodies of women as dangerous, requiring surveillance”. As you can see nowadays this discrimination still happen, otherwise, the ‘red’ color of blood in TV commercial will not change into ‘blue’ which identified as a ‘clean’ or hygienic color. Menstruation, as the world has constructed it as a dirty element or fluid which comes from women’s body. In Islam, in the sacred text, women are not allowed to touch Al-Quran and not allowed to held prayer or Shalat or reciting Qur’an (mengaji).[10] No wonder feminist felt that this is a disgrace for woman. But somehow, some women proud with their femininity. They proud with their experience in menstruation, they proud with their body, skin, their weakness against fat, etc. They love to be women who loves dresses, jewelry, beauty lotion and soap’s collection. This actions are against what the feminist acts about what a women should be that they should not bother themselves to beautify the body so they will have plenty of time to do something else. Again, this is an optional. And some women enjoy with their femininity.
Women: What Religion Said
I, my self, is a woman. What makes me a woman? Social construction? Or is it natural arrangement? I believe we experience both of the situations. When we born as a woman, and our parent introduce us with dolls, pink and pastels color for cloth and our room, it means we are the baby girl. And when we grew, we will grow as little girl, and still with dolls and lovely dresses. But it is fine to have toys such cars and guns or even yo-yo to played with. Or perhaps until we become teenages we still in love with dolls, and perhaps adore marriage and nurturing baby when we grew as an adult – as a woman.
No the question is: if woman had an idea to become ‘mother’ rather than doctor or philosopher, is that silly thing? Feminists – not all of them, but some will say that there is no freedom when we have marriage as our goal to find freedom. At least Beauvoir said so. And what religion said? Many books and writing discuss about women and religion, and I will not explain more about it. In Hinduism, in the Svetasvatara Upanishad (circa fourth century B.C.E) the divine is consciously identified with women (stri) and unmarried girls (kumari) as well as with men and boys.
You are a woman; you are a man; you are a boy or also a girl
As an old man, you totter along with a walking-stick.
As you are born, you turn your face in all directions.
You are the dark blue bird, the oceans.
You love as one without a beginning of your pervasiveness
You are from all beings are born.
Women should be understood to have value and significance in Hinduism, even as do men, because of their being, not because of their instrumental role in society wives and mothers. Women, too, are atman Brahman. [11]
The religion of Hindu, Judaism, Christianity and Islam are most problematic compare the others. For example, in Hinduism, menstruation taboo, marriage at young age, the sati, and also about the role of women in sacred text have become major problems. Though shruti support gender justice, but still the Brahman heritage full of misogynic and andocentric problems. Raines also sees problems in Christianity related with women. Judaism and Christianity have, until recently, provided an ideology which is promale and antifeminist.
In Judaism, there are some similar problems according to the author, such as the lives of women and the obligations to live one’s, and women are not allowed to read and study Torah/Talmud. Both Judaism and Islam, law and life under the law is not a matter of choice but of identity. One of the Ten Commandments, for example, forbids coveting the wife of a neighbor in the same sense that his other property should not be the object of envy.
The Christian Gospels do soften this harsh attitude toward women, portraying a Jesus who treated women and men as equals. But after it, God appears as patriarch, king, judge, and lord of hosts.[12] While in Islam, hijab has become major problem in “Women and Religion” subject. Other matters such as zihar[13], patriarchy, menstruation taboo, and teaching on wife beating are additions. So far, I found that Raines forget to mention about women share’s in heritance (which is only half men), about talaq (divorce), and the headship of family.
Raine put conclusion in his book, that “for women there is no freedom, no self-directing of their lives, no submission that is their own submission, if they do not have control with their sexuality and reproduction.”[14] Somehow I feel that faith and feminism have a deep relationship and both are responses to the deep human yearning for connection and for peace on earth, and that they both have a vision of universal human equity.
the Fin
A good woman is not a doll in the house. They have option for the obligation they faced. Marriage is optional. So, it is fine for women to conduct married and have children and become a house-wife. And also it is fine for women not to married and remain single. Religion involves in making decision for women in marriage, but still women has big role in deciding whether she want to get married or not.
Bibliography
Vyasa, Aida.
Taman Sunyi Sekala.
Surakarta . Tiga Serangkai, 2006.
Schonfeld, Eugen and Stjepan G. Mestrivic, “With the Justice and Mercy: Instrumental-Masculine and Expressive-Feminine Elements in Religion, Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion (30: 363-80, 1991).
Richards, Janet Radcliffe. The Sceptical Feminist.
Middlesex , England , Penguin Books, 1980.
Raines, John C. The Justice Men Owe Women: Positive Resources from World Religions. Fortress Press,
Minneapolis , 2001.
De Beauvoir, Simone. The Second Sex, tr. H.M Parshley.
New York : Random House, 1952.
[1] Aida Vyasa’s English Journal (February 20th, 2007, not published yet).
[2] The paragraph was taken from book of Agenda Seri Solo 9 Aktor published by Teater Garasi (2007), pp. 26.
[3] Janet Radcliffe Richards. The Sceptical Feminist (Middlesex, England, Penguin Books, 1980), pp. 341-342.
[4] Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, tr. H.M Parshley (New York: Random House, 1952), pp. 534.
[5] Aida Vyasa. Taman Sunyi Sekala (
Surakarta , Tiga Serangkai, 2006), pp. 101.
[6] This is SMS or short message sent by friend of mine, Hanik Mukharomah (May 21st, 2007).
[7] Aida Vyasa. Taman Sunyi Sekala (
Surakarta , Tiga Serangkai, 2006), pp. 103-104.
[8] Ibid., pp. 131.
[9] John C Raines. The Justice Men Owe Women: Positive Resources from World Religions. (Fortress Press,
Minneapolis , 2001), pp. 11.
[10] Ibid., 12.
[11] John C Raines. The Justice Men Owe Women: Positive Resources from World Religions. (Fortress Press,
Minneapolis , 2001), pp. 7.
[12] Eugen Schonfeld and Stjepan G. Mestrivic, “With the Justice and Mercy: Instrumental-Masculine and Expressive-Feminine Elements in Religion, Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion (30: 363-80, 1991).
[13] Zihar is men declaring their wives to be ‘like the back of their mothers’ and summarily abandoning them (p. 35).
[14] Ibid., pp. 41.
Linger? NO Longer!
The gems are for him.
I try hard to find it, dig it inside the Gaia – the only planet with chocolate, but it has been a week the gems remain still in my hand …
And him, no longer in hand.
Valhalland, 30 April 2007
GOD does not play ‘hide & seek’
I saw God in his smile. He picked me up that night when we’re going to have Thursday night prayer somewhere in the corner of a Mosque. I closed the door of my room quickly, and ran over to see his smile again. God was there. And I smiled back and said, “Hi …” I just saw God in his sincere smile. Thank you … for smiling at me.
Again, when ‘nature call’ and I had to pee, I entered my bathroom and have a nice rest there, and I said, “Oh God … that was good!” and God was with me that time – in the bathroom. Again, when sadness touch the bottom of my conscience, when rain pour down very hard, when someone hurt me, when and where …. God is with and within me. Again, that night when my spiritual teacher smiled at me and I smiled back, and I saw that God was in his smile. It was the first smile since five months I join the Sufism Group Discussion in Kalasan. Thank you God …
And I wonder why people seek God and trembled of the Godlessness in their life?
Why people cried?
Why people should be advised to be patient when the music of God stop playing while it never happen and that happened because you just don’t want to listen.
Why?
Why seek God, while God never play hide & seek?
You cannot found God in book, in deep contemplation, meditation, or even in board discussion, but … you can find God in people and how you get along and appreciate them. Like, I found God in my words today. Thank you …
* * *
|Life is a Labyrinth|
Yesterday, I was watching film with my sister. She picked the right film to watch together with Mum and I. The title is “Pan’s Labyrinth”. It was a great movie and I recommended to all to watch it. The movie was told us about the beginning of life, death, dream, hope, fantasy, and destiny.
As it was told:
“Pan’s Labyrinth” is the story of a young girl that travels with her mother and adoptive father to a rural area up North in
Spain , 1944 after Franco’s victory. The girl loves in an imaginary world of her own creation and faces the real world with much chagrin. Post-war Fascist repression is at its height in rural
Spain and the girl must come to terms with through a fable of her own.”
Life is a Labyrinth. We need to belief in miracle. Belief in every words we said and done. Like, today, I had meeting with a friend. My friend – Faiq, he said that there is man he known can stop the rain whenever he wants to. That was interesting and then I try … and well ya that day was raining, we stuck in a place where Faiq bought a tomato juice, and I said to him that the rain will stop in 20 minutes. And it happened. The rain stop and I said, ‘we should go home now, because rain will pour down again when I reach home.’ And then we go home, and rain started the action. I was laugh … we laugh … “Ahh …It’s only a faith-game”, he said, “If you believe things will happened exactly like you hope for.” A friend of mine, Syav, he said also that Nature will help you follow your hope and belief.
At night where my other friends and I planned to have dinner together, rain down very hard. And it felt like it never stopped. And I said, it will stop for about 10 minutes and will rain again after that, for about 15 minutes and it will stop until midnight. And it happened. (Chuckling)
The ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’, for people who thought that dreamland is a hocus pocus, is described what so called as panic. The children – Ofelia, is panic with her new situation of the father’s death and her sick and pregnant mother, and also with her new father. Her panic creates new imaginary land with its creatures. But, for Ofelia, the world is not just fantasy; it’s real for those who believe. The underworld realm where se came from was not just unrealistic realm. It was real. It’s just like, my silent garden (Taman Sunyi) – a world where I can have joy with myself in my world.
Life is a Labyrinth. I mean it with this. There are so many roads and doors where you can found dilemmas and facing many ethical problems. People blame you for doing such and such while they continue hoping for changing. And when you feel confused, you could only hope and try to do better things. But if we realize that we will return to our Father, we won’t so desperate and smile though we face fears and sorrows.
Valhalland, 14 April 2007
* * *
GreeN ThoughT for GreeN EartH
— * —
“Each of us is responsible for everything to everyone else”
- Fyodor Dostoevski
First, the environmental crises we are facing now are at the same time local and global – if not universal. Yes I do agree with this. If you are a green people which has a thought that the biggest sin of all is ruining the micro and macro cosmos, than you will feel that the crisis which happened to the Earth is a universal one – if not local and global. Earth is a place we live in and if we don’t give her our positive energy, then who will?
Second, I do agree that the crises are so huge – until only that science or technology or one single government/community would not be able to solve them. So religions are here expected to play roles. But I’m not going to stressed on ‘religion’, I tend to expected that ‘spirituality’ will play the role. Spirituality – the heart of religion is the language where all mankind would able to understand in any circumstances. Not really that science cannot help or technology, government or community is helpless, it is just they haven’t give their best shot.
Third, yes, there is a fact that every religion has its own language. They have difference system of theology, beliefs, ritual, and ethics. But we should not forget about ‘the heart of every religions’, that is: Spirituality. With this language, the Babelian problem is no longer problematic. Everyone will speak the same thing: ‘A better future for mankind and the Earth.’ Just like Martin Buber stated, “All real living is meeting.” Otherwise, Greenpeace will not exist until today, or other wise I will not have that smile when I saw ‘The Body Shop’ motto: “Againts Animal Testing, Support Community Trade, Active Self-esteem, Defend Human-Right, Protect Our Planet.”
Religion – probably won’t help too much. But it spirituality will able to cross the borders and put everyone in the same level of humanity. They will speak the same things. They will use the same language. And little by little they will learn other language, or even start to understand other language – if not using it also when they want to speak to God. Perhaps … it is already the time where we realize that we’re living in the Aquarian Age and asking, ‘why green?’
Let’s set up what so called by Marilyn Ferguson as ‘The Whole-Earth Conspiracy’ to save the Earth. Perhaps, we don’t have that power like Alwi Shihab (politician, ex minister) had. But in the place where I ever lived, there are several people sit together and meditate to heal the Earth using their positive energy. They use, ‘RLAL’ or the power of Rahmatan Lil Al-Amin, led by Muhammad Shahab (healer from Ledok), they continue their healing process of their selves and of course, Mother Earth. For me, it’s only a matter of how we are creative in ways of living, dying, and healing. And it is as easy as imagining when people from other culture, religion, rich people, poor people, cross over the bridge – the same bridge, where it will lead to a place in which people can sit together and try to solve the common problems. []
Nissin vs. Tango
I love tea. I love having tea-time with my Mom, my Sis and my Bro. We even used to have it in the morning when my father was at home. We often have it in the evening when everybody has tired of daily activities. Until today, we still have tea-time in the evening. Mostly, tea was not alone. She has biscuits to accompany her. Again, Nissin was with us. The old biscuit from Nissin, CoffeMocca, you can see in the picture always taste good in the mouth. But lately, Tango and her many flavor, luring us to taste it. Of course, compare with CoffeeMocca, Tango is more solid, the choco is taste more chocolate. And it doesn’t easy to break. The shape of Tango is contemporary, while the Nissin has the old-Shape of wafer. I like Tango better, but for tea-time, I like the old one – Nissin is more proper to accompanies Tea. And for the tea, no lemon …. Please! I don’t like sour things – lemonade feel like acid
Reinkarnasi
Kata “reinkarnasi” asalnya dari kata re+in+carnis. Kata Latin carnis berarti daging. Incarnis artinya mempunyai bentuk manusia. Sedangkan reinkarnasi adalah masuknya jiwa ke dalam tubuh yang baru. Jadi, jiwanya adalah jiwa yang sudah ada, tapi jasadnya baru. Maka, reinkarnasi juga dapat disebut kelahiran kembali. Kondisi ini disebut pula sebagai migrasi jiwa. Artinya, jasad lama ditinggalkan alias mati, dan pada suatu kesempatan jiwa tersebut masuk ke dalam jasad baru, alias menjadi bayi kembali. Dalam bahasa Inggris reinkarnasi disebut sebagai reborn atau reembodiment. Ini adalah definisi yang dikatakan oleh Achmad Chojim. Istilah Buddhismenya, tumimbal lahir.
Anyway, kalian tahulah apa itu maksudnya.
Percaya tidak, aku merasakannya. Ini cerita lama yang masih kupertanyakan. Aku pernah tanya ke mama dan ayahku dulu, apakah aku pernah naik ayunan diatas kolam yang besar? Jelas waktu kukecil dulu, rumahku tidak ada ayunan dan tidak punya kolam besar. Saat itu, aku memakai baju putih yang bagus seperti anak bangsawan India yang tinggal di sekitar Taj Mahal or something like Masjid. Aku naik ayunan, ditemani oleh seorang wanita dan pria yang sepertinya mereka adalah orang tuaku. Salah satu dari mereka mendorongku, dan rambutku yang panjang tersibak asyik oleh angin.
Aku yakin itu bukan mimpi. Aku mendapati pengalaman ingatan itu saat ku berumur 12 tahun. Aku tanya terus ke mama tapi mama tidak pernah mengajakku naik ayunan. Gadis yang berayun itu sepertinya juga berumur 12 tahun atau mungkin 11 tahun. Perawakannya cukup sama denganku, rambut panjang dan kulit yang tidak terlalu putih. Saat aku main ayunan itu, malam hari. Keadaan sekitar cukup temaram – tidak gelap dan tidak pula terang.
Apakah ini namanya?
Apa aku bermimpi?
Like, do you believe in Reinkarnasi?
Lama aku tidak mengungkit ini … silly, bahkan adikku pun tidak kuceritain hal ini. Aku teringat kembali untuk menceritakkanya ketika sepupuku, Daniel Fahmi membawa foto-foto lama dimana aku pernah kecil dulu. Foto kanak-kanak ku mengingatkan akan masa dimana kecilku tidak kanak-kanak. Well, salah satunya ya misteri ini. Sementara, ku nikmati saja.
Valhalland, 20 Maret 2007
Philosophy of Time
There was a time when zahranakumay chatted with vikov_001:
zahranakumayl: mana yang lebih dahulu: waktu apa creation?
vikov_001: creation
vikov_001: karena waktu is created
vikov_001: bener ga:-?
zahranakumayl: mulla shdra bilang na: the creation occured with time
zahranakumayl: bukan take place in time
vikov_001: jadi barengan gitu?
zahranakumayl: iya
zahranakumayl: kalau kubilang sih waktu dulu baru universe
vikov_001: hmm aku sempet mikir gitu tadi
vikov_001: trus?
vikov_001: creation itu sendiri definisi nya apa
zahranakumayl: let’s say UNIVERSE
zahranakumayl: jadi menurut ku :
zahranakumayl: khan dunia dicipta 6 hari accrding quran
zahranakumayl: so waktu dulu baru UNIVERSE
zahranakumayl: waktu is God (hadst qudsi)
zahranakumayl: whatdya think?
vikov_001: oiya?
vikov_001: aku baru tau neh
vikov_001: kayanya ga segampang itu definisinya
vikov_001: aku lebih setuju waktu dulu, baru universe
vikov_001: eh kebalik
vikov_001: masalahnya kan waktu juga di ciptakan
vikov_001: hadisnya kaya apa tuh
zahranakumayl: mumet aku …
zahranakumayl: pak hamdani pernah bahas gak
vikov_001: pak hamdani sering bilang kalo mau solat mintalah agar kita dimasukkan ke dalam ruang dan waktu Allah yang tidak ber ruang dan tidak berwaktu
vikov_001: ruang dan waktu Allah bebas dari setan jin iblis
vikov_001: pye?
vikov_001: halu?
zahranakumayl: hmm …
vikov_001: ngapain di pikir? ada gunanya ga?
zahranakumayl: ada
vikov_001: apa?
zahranakumayl: menurutmu?
vikov_001: mana?
zahranakumayl: sebelum dunia dicipta
vikov_001: g ada
vikov_001: tapi ya gak tau lagi
zahranakumayl: apa yang ada? ini naik terus ttg …
vikov_001: pertama yang dicipta Allah kan Nur Muhammad
vikov_001: dari Nur itu tercipta alam
vikov_001: kayanya waktu termasuk dalam alam itu
vikov_001: kita tau kan jiwa atau sesuatu yang’halus’ tidak tergantung ruang dan waktu
vikov_001: brarti bagi mereka waktu itu g ada
zahranakumayl: hmm …
vikov_001: atau mereka bisa melepaskan diri dari kungkungan waktu
vikov_001: la kalo waktu itu Tuhan…. mana bisa coba?
vikov_001: tapi ini baru analisis ngawurku
zahranakumayl: gilaaa
zahranakumayl: mengerikan
vikov_001: la kok gila
vikov_001: aku emang mengerikaaaaan:D
zahranakumayl: panentheistic
vikov_001: hiii aida emang aneh
This chat session happened during the class of Religion and Science. When Pak Zainal Bagir explained about how Mehdi Gholshani and John Haught fought the thought of Dawkins and Weinberg; how the theists versus the atheists and showed them that their atheism is also a religion to them – a belief a system, a scientism.
When Syaviq (vikov_001) stated that there is condition where timeless is exist, I got more confused but this is reminded me about how Hinduism deal with time’s philosophy. In the Vaisesika system, ‘time’ is one of nine substances (dravya), it is connected with ‘creation, sustention, and destruction’. If the physical of universe or any of creation is the body of God, then there is a time where they are timeless. Time also eternal and … ohhh .. I don’t know what else to say. God is too massive for me to talk about but it also a temptation for me to not to speak about. Vyasa gave comment, “just as the atom (paramanu) is the smallest particle of matter (dravya) so a moment (ksana) is the smallest particle of time (kala).” Time (kala) is not real and it based on changes in the mind. So there can be timeless – zero time experience in this universe and that will explain the condition where ‘magic of creation’ happened.
In Bhagavadgita, Khrisna said about himself: “Time am I, world-destroying, grown mature, engage in subduing the world.” Ohh … send me the Mahdi, the Kalki, and the Superman mode on me so I can get pure enlightenment to understand all of this.
Valhalland, March 7th, 2007.
